It’s OK to be alone on Valentine’s Day!
Today, is the day that many singletons, have dreaded for the last 364 days — another lonely Valentine’s Day. Another day with no one, to share hugs and kisses and Valentines sex wishes. Many single people have comically renamed this traditional romantic day as S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day).
It is sad, to think that a day, that’s designed to be a happy occasion, would make so many people feel left out. Granted, not everyone feels lonely for the same reasons, some are widows, who reminisce about their former lover. Some are divorced, and many have simply been unlucky in love.
As a lifelong bachelor, I’ve had my share of sizzling romances that eventually faded like a comet blazing through space. I wrote about many of those relationships in my book, “Confessions of a 40 (something) Year Old Bachelor,” including my ex “Leilani” who I thought I was going to marry, until I witnessed her spend nearly $400,000 in 6 months — after which, she asked me for a loan!
I met Leilani on Match.com, one night while surfing through the website, to find available women who were currently online. My strategy was to find women who were game to meet up right away. This was pre-Tinder days, so I wasn’t sure how successful I would be, but luckily I connected with Leilani and we agreed to meet that same night at a bar in Santa Monica, CA.
When she walked into the bar, I was immediately impressed. She was a beautiful girl, who looked even better than her profile pictures. Over a couple of drinks, I begin to sense that we had a lot in common, and later discovered that we had the same sex drive.
A few days after meeting, she surprisingly invited me out to Las Vegas, to celebrate her recent sale of the Liberace mansion. The fact that she was successful and spontaneous, definitely increased my attraction for her.
While in Vegas, we spent our first night in the Liberace mansion, which was a little creepy, because it felt like a museum and there were also lots of pictures of his mother hanging on the walls. Growing up, I had heard the creepy rumors about him and his mom, so this only added to the intrigue.
After wandering through the house, we discovered his lavish master bedroom, but we both agreed that it was too ostentatious, and unsuitable for us to sleep in. We quickly discovered another bedroom down the hall, which happened to be his mother’s room.
After we unpacked and reclined on the canopy bed, we were astonished to see a mirror above the bed. I laughed out loud, and shouted, “Liberace’s momma was a freak!”
The next day, we checked into the MGM Grand Hotel, which is where Leilani was meeting her buyers to close the deal. While she handled her business, I settled in at the blackjack table, where I quickly won $500.
After a couple of hours of blackjack, Leilani found me, and boldly threw a check for $360,000 onto the table. “Look what I got!” She said gleefully. I was very impressed, but I wasn’t quite ready to leave the table, because I was still winning. However, Leilani began pressuring me into bad bets, and I quickly lost all of my winnings.
I was happy that she had received her enormous check, but her reckless attitude towards money, eventually became a decisive issue in our relationship.
That same weekend, I won an incredible 10 team parlay bet on football, which netted me $100,000! It was truly a miracle, and Leilani was there to cheer me on, until the final play of the final game. I truly believed that she was my heaven-sent soul mate.
Over the next few months, we traveled and partied and I seriously considered marriage. We talked about having kids, she met my family and I assumed that we would eventually be headed down the aisle — but I couldn’t ignore those red flags, especially her spending habits.
After watching her spend money like a drunken sailor, (and also drink like one occasionally). My efforts to counsel her went unheeded. If you’re interested in how things ended between us, I encourage you to read my book.
However, the purpose of my story is to encourage people to listen to their heart and pay attention to red flags. It’s often better to be alone and focused, than to be in a convenient relationship.
It doesn’t matter that you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, it’s only one day of the year. Use this time for reflection, volunteer work or party with your single friends.
No matter what you do, be happy and appreciate your freedom!
Happy V Day!